Three-Year Rule Read online

The studio was smaller than what she expected. The waiting room wasn’t much bigger than a walk-in closet. It had a tiny table filled with juice and various pastries, bagels and fruit. She sat in a tall chair while a young woman touched up her makeup and hair. Franklin gave her a kiss on the cheek and disappeared out the door; a few minutes later a young man came to escort her to the set.

  The host was a beautiful woman in her late twenties. She wore a body hugging pale green suit and had long flowing blonde hair. She prompted Elizabeth on the few questions she would ask, then the set darkened, and they began.

  The Host began with a big smile for the camera. She said, “Good Morning, Lisa Mills here with Psychologist and Author, Elizabeth Stewart. Elizabeth is the author of the New York Times bestselling book series If Life Were a Garden. Elizabeth is an expert on relationship development. Her books, though geared toward women, teach us a lot about the dynamics of how relationships evolve. The fourth book in this series is her latest entitled Weeding Your Garden.” Lisa turned toward Elizabeth and said, “I love the idiom of referring to our walk through life as a garden. The weeds are unwanted relationships, such as unfaithful lovers or untrustworthy friendships. Your theory on the length of time it takes to get to know the people in your life is compelling. Can you elaborate?”

  Elizabeth flashed Lisa a brilliant smile and said, “Yes Lisa, I’d love to explain. Our culture has grown to expect most relationships to fail. Statistics site the divorce rate, and separation percentages are higher now than ever before. I believe the main reason why marriages fail is the simple fact that people are marrying virtual strangers. Furthermore, a person should be confident in their own personality and skills before trying to merge their life with someone else. Statistics prove that most people strive to conform to their partner’s character expectations. In other words, people try to alter their personalities to meet what they believe are their partner's expectations of how they should behave. I call this transition a Pseudo Personality.”

  Lisa leaned toward Elizabeth in her seat and said, “Pseudo Personality; that is fascinating. When do people start to assume this Pseudo Personality?”

  Elizabeth turned to face the camera as she continued, “Pseudo Personalities are very common on first dates. Most people are on their best behavior, using their best manners. They pay close attention to their perception. They try to judge how the date is going. They use good grammar, good posture, and good table manners. Men open doors for women and avoid foul language. Women use probing questions to try to keep their date talking. Most women feign interest in sports or hobbies the other finds fascinating. All this is done, not as a deception, but as a tool to develop their relationship.”

  Lisa tilted her head to one side and asked, “How long can someone maintain a Pseudo Personality?”

  Elizabeth let her smile falter a bit to look more serious as she answered, “Research had shown a regular person can maintain a pseudo personality for up to three years before they began to tire of the exertion.”

  Lisa gasped and asked, “How can you tell if someone has assumed a Pseudo Personality.”

  “You can’t,” Elizabeth explained, “All you can do is give the relationship time, don’t rush into marriage. Wait until you’ve reached the point where each person must show their hidden personalities and reveal their innermost secrets or fears.”

  Lisa frowned and asked, “Is there no way to avoid a Pseudo Personality?”

  Elizabeth turned back to the camera and said, “Many women believe they must mold themselves to match the man in their life. Some women believe they have to conform to his desires, his preferences, and his views or they will end up alone. This is not correct. Women need to understand they are the driving force of the American Family. Women are as financially independent in our current society as men. If you are a woman who has not been without a partner since you began dating, then it is time for you to be alone. Only on your own, without a partner, can your true personality emerge. Only without a partner can anyone finally begin to discover his or her own path in life. Once you find your own path toward your personal goals, are you prepared to merge your life with another? Only then are you confident enough in your own character and abilities to avoid creating a Pseudo Personality to please your partner. Only then, can you enter into a relationship without the believing you need to change your spouse, to meet your expectations.”

  Lisa stared at Elizabeth in silence for a moment, and then asked quietly, “What advice would you give someone who is already in a relationship?”

  Elizabeth smiled gently at Lisa and said, “Three years may seem like a very long time to date someone. So consider this: three years of dating could save you twenty years of unhappiness, stuck in a marriage to someone you do not want. Isn’t it worth slowing down and taking your time? My advice is, don’t live together. Maintain separate homes instead. There is nothing wrong with an intimate relationship between lovers who do not live together. Living separately during this three-year period will allow each person to relax and return to his or her actual character on a regular basis. This consistent return to their true self will enable each of them to show their true character to each other much sooner than expected. This process could actually shorten the three-year time span to approximately two years if it is done correctly.”

  Joshua raised the remote and turned off the television. Elizabeth’s face disappeared into the darkness. He rolled over in bed and went back to sleep. A few hours later the phone rang, but he didn’t answer it. He couldn’t. He knew it was Elizabeth. He knew she wanted to know what he thought of her interview. He also knew he couldn’t talk to her right now.

  Elizabeth put her phone back in her purse and glanced across the table at Franklin. “I guess he’s still asleep. I hope he didn’t miss the show.”

  Franklin reached out and touched Elizabeth’s hand saying, “I’m sure he saw it and is just trying to catch up on his sleep. How are your Eggs Benedict?”

  “Too scrumptious,” Elizabeth said with a guilty smile, “I’m sure I’m gaining a pound with each bite.”

  Franklin laughed and reached down to open his briefcase. He pulled out his iPad and turned it on saying, “I’ve been working on something I want to run past you now that your Garden Series is complete. I think it’s time for you to branch out into something new, something fun.”

  Elizabeth frowned at his glancing down at the iPad. She said, “Franklin, we’ve already planned to start a series about the dynamics of a blended family.”

  Franklin smiled at her and said, “Yes, I know, but I thought you might want to take a break on the psychology and possibly write something exciting.”

  “Fun and exciting?” Elizabeth took another bite of her eggs and added, “I thought you loved my books. You don’t think what I do is fun?”

  Franklin laughed and explained, “I was thinking about Fiction, possibly a romance maybe or a psychological thriller.”

  “What?” Elizabeth dropped her fork on her plate and stared at him.

  “Erotica is very hot right now.” Franklin explained, “We have to accept the fact that psychology books tend to be stylish. The next hot relationship theory that comes out can decrease your sales to zip in a matter of months. You have a background in psychology which would be very beneficial to a romance series.”

  Elizabeth couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She stammered, “Erotica? Are you crazy? You think I should write porn. That is your long-term plan for me. You want me to write porn?”

  Franklin raised his hands in surrender and said, “It’s not porn, it's erotica, and it’s very hot. I think you would be good at it, and it would give Amy a chance to create an incredibly artistic cover. With your experience, you could write a killer suspense series with a sexy girl detective searching for a serial killer that ends up being her husband. Now that’s exciting!”

  “Franklin, fiction and non-fiction are totally different styles of writing.” Elizabeth stared at him as if she’d
never seen him before. “I haven’t written fiction since college. I love writing non-fiction; it’s who I am. I don’t want to become someone else.”

  “I’m not asking you to lose your identity.” Franklin’s smile disappeared, “I’m just trying to take advantage of a hot new trend in the market.”

  “I thought I was a hot new trend.” Elizabeth refused to back down.

  “You are, but if you would just consider giving this a try, we could branch out into other markets. We could use a pseudo name if you like, no one has to know.” Franklin’s eyes narrowed, “Eventually you are going to run out of self-help books to write. I think a romance or mystery series would be a great fall back.”

  “Fall back?” Elizabeth’s voice rose with her reply. “Now I need a fallback? Franklin, is there something going on that you are not telling me? Are my sales falling? Is the market demand moving away from self-help books?”

  “No, of course not,” Franklin tapped his fingers on the table impatiently.

  “Are you having trouble setting up book signings and personal appearances?”

  “No,” Franklin snapped, his face turning red.

  “Are my fans complaining that my books are boring?”

  “Not at all,” Franklin’s breathing was deep and forced.

  “Then drop this, I’m not interested. I like what I’m doing, and I don’t believe I will run out of topics to write about. I have a list on my iPad of at least 20 other books I want to write. You know that.”

  “Just think about it.” Franklin insisted. He took a deep breath and glanced around the room. His smile reappeared as he added, “I’ll touch base with you next month after you’ve had time to calm down.”

  Elizabeth shook her head at him and said, “I don’t do fiction.” She rose and added, “I’m going upstairs to pack. This tour is over, and I don’t see any good in wasting time arguing with you over a book series that is never going to happen.”